The evening is warm. Well, at least inside the house, it is warm. It is, however, quite lovely outside on the deck.
My teaching week is over. And what a fantastic week of teaching it was!
The writing continues.
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reuniting with The Lincolns this week, and tearing through massive rewrites. I actually began writing on this project in 1987 following a full year of extensive research.
This musical actually began as a composition project with President Lincoln as the topic. Before long, I discovered that Mrs. Lincoln’s story was quite interesting, and began researching her more in depth. When I moved to Dayton, Ohio in 1990, I dabbled with the musical project for several years, but due to an expanding career in teaching and directing, the musical was placed on the back burner.
Now that the fatherhood years are officially behind me, I can focus on things for which I now have time.
My day is quickly winding down, and my brain is tired. Navi and Chief are hunkered down for the night – Navi at the foot of my bed, and Chief on the rug next to my bed.
Here is a video from earlier this evening… these Kids are so much fun!
This afternoon, one of my students brought in “Love Never Dies” from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s LOVE NEVER DIES – the sequel to his PHANTOM OF THE OPERA.
I’d heard this song before, but paid it little attention. Today, I truly heard it for the first time. It is a different song, and to me, is reminiscent of an opera aria – but, naturally, the show revolves around an opera house. Still, the style seems less along the “pop” style than Mr. Lloyd Webber’s previous work.
The lyrics, by Glenn Slater with additional lyrics by Charles Hart, are not particularly strong, but they do compliment Mr. Lloyd Webber’s
Who knows when love begins
Who knows what makes it start
One day it’s simply there
Alive inside your heart
It slips into your thoughts
It infiltrates your soul
It takes you by surprise
Then seizes full control
Try to deny it
And try to protest
But love won’t let you go
Once you’ve been possessed
Love never dies
Love never falters
Once it has spoken
Love is yours
Love never fades
Love never alters
Hearts may get broken
Love endures
Hearts may get broken
Love endures
And soon as you submit
Surrender flesh and bone
That love takes on a life
Much bigger than your own
It uses you at whim
And drives you to despair
And forces you to feel
More joy than you can bear
Love gives you pleasure
And love brings you pain
And yet when both are gone
Love will still remain
Once it has spoken
Love is yours
Love never dies
Love never alters
Hearts may get broken
Love endures
Hearts may get broken
Love never dies
Love will continue
Love keeps on beating
When you’re gone
Love never dies
Once it is in you
Love may be fleeting
Love lives on
Love may be fleeting
Love lives on
This week was a banner week with successful endocrinology and doctor appointments. Monday, I visited my endocrinologist for a routine exam, and blood draw. My BP was perfect, and my weight had dropped 17 pounds since my visit in May. By Wednesday, the lab work had returned and my A1C was 6.1. My cholesterol and other items were excellent. My new endocrinologist, upon learning all my results, and the fact I am walking nearly 6 miles each day, and eating healthier, said, “You are a dream patient.”
Friday morning, I met my new family physician, Dr. Edward Clack. He sat down, and moved the wheeled-stool within a few inches of my face and said, “We’re a team. I cannot be expected to do it all, I need each patient’s cooperation.”
I loved this man from the start! He spoke my language.
Whenever I met a new team of teachers for each son, I immediately addressed the fact we were a team, and that I was the team’s captain. We each had a role to play, and I was the one responsible for my son’s education.
When I visit my physician or endocrinologist, they provide me guidelines on areas to improve, and then it is up to me to go home and practice, and improve. It is no different than my students: we work on their prepared lesson, I coach them, and then, it is up to them to go home and practice the skills and techniques on which we worked. If they fail to practice, they fail to succeed. It is the same with our healthcare professionals.
While I was waiting for the physician’s assistant to check me out, the doctor and his resident, Adam, were discussing his introductory speech. I interjected that I thought it was a fantastic way to establish the doctor-patient relationship, and to immediately address that this is a partnership, and should never be one-sided. Dr. Clack loved my comparison to teaching – “Yes! You get it! I am going to enjoy working with you. You’re a dream patient!”
Today, I went to pick up my prescription, and my pharmacist walked over to the window when he saw me.
“I noticed you now have refills for six months?”
I replied, “Yes, Sir.”
“Impressive! You’ve been a good boy, haven’t you? I wish all my patients worked hard like you. You’re a dream patient!”
A dream patient! I am a dream patient simply because I am taking responsibility for my own health.
A few Saturdays ago I went to the Oakwood Farmer’s Market and really enjoyed meeting some of the folks, and thoroughly loved the fresh produce. I returned this morning, knowing I would be meeting two music/theatre friends, Raymonde Rougier and Jean Howatt Berry. Both are incredible ladies, and fantastic musician/artists.
Jean was hosting an event, today, that I found absolutely compelling – drummers from the nation of Burundi. The drummers are refugees from Burundi who arrived in Ohio several years back. I think I recall reading, or hearing about them on the news. They live west of Dayton on a parcel of land donated by a physician.
I gathered my vegetables, and then enjoyed the drummers of Burundi.
It’s a hot, muggy Friday afternoon here in the Miami Valley. The day commenced with our regular 6:45 AM walk, with MapMyRun shorting me about a quarter of a mile.
After breakfast and a shower, I reported to my doctor’s office for my quarterly visit. Dr. Clack, and his resident, were both impressed with my lab results from earlier this week, as well as my 5-6 miles of walking each day. He was so impressed with all I have been doing, plus the 6.1 A1C, that my visits are now every six months rather than the quarterly visits. That thrilled me. And, I was told I am a “dream patient” – a patient who takes care of my stuff!
Upon the return home at 10:45 AM, I mowed the yard, deep cleaned carpets, did two loads of towels and a load of clothes, cleaned the kitchen, tossed a load of dishes into the dish washer, and watered the plants. Finished by Noon.
Lunch. Nap.
Now, time to teach and then I will be off to dinner with my wonderful ginger-headed friend, Doug Malcolm, a theatre major at Cedarville University. I am so ready for this fun time with Doug, tonight!
For several years, Amy Kress, the mother of one of my students, has always spoken highly of her Dyson vacuum. At the time, I needed a quality sweeper that could tackle all the pet hair – a cat and three dogs – and all the daily debris accumulated from so much traffic through the house.
Yesterday, I took advantage of a local business’ sale, and used money set aside for “business improvements” to purchase a Dyson at a super sale-deal. I rushed home and tried it out. I had swept the previous evening, and figured I would not see much of a difference.
Oh, how wrong I was!
I emptied TWO containers from the Dyson! Incredible, and impressive.
Since the vacuum is so tough, I named it, Mile Dyson.
Last evening, I was discussing Mike Dyson with a student’s mother, and said, “I think it’s cool when athletes or celebrities endorse things. I know Mike Tyson did not endorse this, but I’ve got his grill.”
The mother looked at me with a quizzical look, and then attempted to stifle her laughter.
“Do you mean, George… [begins howling] Do you mean… [bends over laughing]… Oh, Darin, you have a George Foreman Grill – not a Mike Tyson Grill. But they are both boxers.”
“Boxers? Heck! I thought they were basketball players.”
Labor Day weekend is one of my favorites. Kettering hosts one of the most fantastic festivals and parades in the state of Ohio during this weekend.
The bulk of the activity takes place in my own neighborhood, and there is always such an energy a few days before the festivities begin. Today, those working for the city are busy setting out temporary road barriers, changing signs, and unloading chairs and other equipment.
For the past 20 minutes I’ve been sitting out on the deck snapping green beans. It’s been a somewhat quiet morning and one with little productivity. I casually said to the dogs, “Well, kids, it’s been one month today since Flyer left us.”
Several minutes after saying those words the cardinal that hangs out in our yard with his mate, landed on the deck rail again.
A week after Flyer’s death I was sitting out here on the deck when the cardinal bravely landed on the deck rail. I mentioned this in a Facebook post, and I received several stories about the meaning of the cardinal’s visit. Several responders indicated that it was Flyer’s way of checking on us to see how we were doing, and to let us know that she was okay.
So, it does make me wonder, on this one month anniversary if Flyer was just checking in on us. If there was a way to do so, I am certain Flyer would find a way.
There is certainly nothing wrong with ordinary. Some days, ordinary is quite the welcome visitor.
Aside from teaching, there is not much on the docket for this week save my endocrinology appointment, a doctor’s appointment for my quarterly check-up, and an eagerly awaited visit this Friday evening with a friend who is currently in college. That visit will surely be the highlight of my week.
My next door neighbor boy, Kelley, a high school junior, has been laying the remainder of the crushed marble around the shed. He’s such a good worker, and a really nice young man. Even in middle school, during the summers, he would make additional pancakes to share with my sons.
The deck is absolutely splendid this morning. The breeze is so busy it don’t miss a tree, and an old loud cicada is buzzin’ at me… The Kids are lounging near my chair. Since the sun is taking a respite behind some clouds, my writing time on the deck might be extended – around 10:30-11:00AM, the sun becomes too bright, despite the umbrella’s shade, to see the monitor.
Additional studio business has been completed, and I am ready to open up some writing projects.
I honestly don’t know what to make of the approaching number. In many ways, I do not feel like I am about to turn 49. On the other hand, I don’t know how a 49-year-old is supposed to feel. I’ve not done it yet.
The next 30 days I will be finalizing my list of 49 things I will do over the course of next year to live out loud. I’m excited to begin some of the items on this list as I want to experience a number of things I would’ve probably never considered, and stretch my courage and understanding of the world around me.
By the time I was 30, I had accomplished everything I had set out in life to do. I was an educator, a professional performer, an arranger and orchestrator, and a theater director. The only thing I had not fulfilled was becoming a dad. That happened before my 36th birthday.
Now, it is time to write the next chapters. My writing tools are before me, and I am eager to get going with the next Act of my play. I should probably just make it a musical, as I am sure there will be a hell of a lot of singing and dancing.
The acting by Forest Whitaker, Oprah Winfrey, and David Banner were exceptional performances. I also felt that Vanessa Redgrave, John Cusack, Jane Fonda and James Marsden turned in fantastic performances. Forest Whitaker, who’s become a strong actor through the years, could very well walk away with an Academy Award. Oprah was quite good, but I often had difficulty falling in love with her character. Nonetheless, I was very pleased with her performance.
Concerns:
This is the 21st century where incredible advancements have been made in the movies. Why, oh why could the scenic design of the White House not be more accurate? This, alone, could take up another blog of significant length.
I could not buy Robin Williams as Pres. Eisenhower.
The other presidents were okay, despite being portrayed by very capable actors. However, James Marsden turned in a spot-on John F. Kennedy. I could easily see why that generation of Americans were so in love with this president. What an incredible spirit, and I believe Mr. Marston captured it.
There was one moment when Forest Whitaker, as a butler, was reading to Caroline Kennedy. Caroline informed him that her Uncle Bobby had been talking to her father about a freedom riders bus being burned. I am all for artistic license when the story needs to be enhanced, especially when it is not a documentary. However, I simply could not believe in this particular moment.
I do not understand why the names of butlers and other White House personnel were changed.
I cannot see a White House butler taking a tray of silver Items back to the staff locker room.
I also question whether or not a family member of a White House staff could’ve easily walked into the White House with such ease.
In all my White House reading, and research, I do not recall ever reading that Jacqueline Kennedy, while still wearing the blood splattered pink wool suit that she wore in Dallas Texas, ever sat in the Red Room of the White House during daylight. From everything I’ve read, the President’s coffin was returned to the White House and placed in the East room during the wee hours of the morning. After an interval, Mrs. Kennedy reportedly went upstairs to the presidential suite where she was finally encouraged to remove her clothing.
While there were glaring defects in a majority of the White House interior, there seemed to be attempts to do a better job when it came to the Kennedy administration bedroom, and even the bedroom wallpaper during the Reagan administration.
Why did director Lee Daniels feel it was necessary to tag his name to the front of the movie’s title? I understand that this was due to a disagreement with an older black and white movie with the same title; however: find another title. Why not, THE WHITE HOUSE BUTLER?
Don’t get me wrong, I really loved this movie. There were too many significant items that stood out with tremendous question marks and exclamation points.
The storyline, focusing on this White House butler’s personal transition through the years, involving the Civil Rights movement, was exceptionally powerful. Forest Whitaker’s character grows, and changes, before our eyes. This was an incredible transition, and quite moving.
Despite my dissatisfaction with the scenic design and research department, it is still a great movie with a solid storyline.
I got to meet Ms. Harris in the late 1980’s when she was touring in DRIVING MISS DAISY. Playwright James Prideaux, a Ball State graduate, wrote the Tony winning play, THE LAST OF MRS. LINCOLN, which starred Ms. Harris. At the time, I was researching my musical on Mary Lincoln, and Mr. Prideaux, upon learning Ms. Harris would be in Indianapolis, arranged for a backstage meeting. What a wonderful treat. Ms. Harris requested my address, and a week later I received a packet of notes from her research on Mary Lincoln.
One comment she shared: “The only thing I regret about playing Mrs. Lincoln is that I never got to play her opposite Hal Holbrook’s President Lincoln.” [Referring to the television movies of the early/mid 1970’s when Sada Thompson portrayed Mrs. Lincoln.]
Several years later, while eating pizza with Mr. Holbrook following a performance of TONIGHT WITH MARK TWAIN, I shared this story with him. He looked at me, laid down his pizza, and leaned forward. “Are you kidding me? My gosh! (he sat back in his seat in disbelief) Julie Harris is a star.”
Wow! And I was sitting across from chopped liver?
I will never forget my time with Mr. Harris, and will always appreciate the notes and cards sent me, through the years.
“Good night, Ms. Harris, and choirs of angels sing Thee to Thy rest.”
Living in such a high profile location can be taxing when it comes to heavier traffic, but the advantages far outweigh waiting to back out of my drive. What I love most are some of the people in this neighborhood.
Aside from my immediate neighbors, Kay Moore, and her family (The Parkers) next door, and Bob & Chris Stephens behind me, there are a scattering of other wonderful people throughout the neighborhood.
I try to walk the dogs where there are no yards so there are no temptations for Chief to hike on flower beds, etc.. When we stroll through North & South Bromfield Streets we walk in the street since there are no sidewalks, and the roads are wide enough to feel safe. Lincoln Park Boulevard is about the only street, aside from a stretch down Shroyer Road toward the middle school, where we walk by actual homes.
There is one particular home I love that backs up to the high school’s track & field that has a unique fan-shaped structure over the front door. The lawn/gardens are always kept so nice, as well. This morning, the owners were in their driveway cleaning out their van as we were walking by. I almost shouted over to the gentleman, asking if he made house calls. He looked busy, so I remained silent.
A little while ago I was in the kitchen feeding the dogs when I saw a father riding a bike with an attached stroller. A few seconds later, a lady and her son stopped their bikes, and the boy was leaning over holding his face. The mother had called ahead to her husband but he was too far away. I went outside to see if I could be of assistance, and discovered the young boy had a nose bleed. I supplied him with some wet paper towels, some dry ones and a plastic Kroger bag. By this time, the father and the boy’s friend had returned.
It was such a nice chat with this family, and their son’s friend (who lives on Rockhill). I discovered they live in the house with the fan-shaped structure above their front door!
“You were cleaning your van this morning!”
It was nice to meet Bill & Amy, and their son – whose name I’ve already forgotten.
Move over Mister Rogers. You ain’t got the only wonderful neighborhood!
For at least a year now I’ve heard about Aullwood Gardens, a part of the Five Rivers Metropark system here in the Miami Valley, from Emily Webb. Most often, when I was on this side of North Dayton with time to spare, the dogs have always been with me. Today I decided it was time to make a visit.
When I turned off of Highway 40 into the park, I knew I was in for a treat as I drove down the winding tree–tunneled road leading to the actual park. Near the parking area, and a long a beautiful, scenic waterway, was a friend of mine, Diane Lutz. I’ve known Diane for many years as she has been a good friend to the adoption agency that has served me well. Diane gave me a brief layout of the land, and her enthusiasm for the park only heightened my keen interest in investigating.
For the past 60 minutes I’ve been strolling through thick tree-lined paths, almost always within hearing range of stone-filled brooks and waterways. If it were not for the mosquitoes, and the gentle hum of the distant traffic near I-75, I would believe I am actually listening to one of those relaxation tapes – except Pachelbel’s “Canon in D” is not playing in the background.
The stone bridges across the waterways are rustic, and quite picturesque. The sounds of nature, all around me, or rather, in surround-sound with a natural Dolby, are composing a spontaneous symphony that’s both calm, refreshing, and reassuring. The sense of isolation and beauty makes me wonder if this is what the legendary Adam experienced in the Garden of Eden before he was joined by Eve.
I think, more than anything, I am terribly astounded that Siri and Wi-Fi are actually working back in this area.
My meditative walk and picture taking, have soothed the spirit, and replenished the body and soul with a tad bit more vigor, and joy.
Although I brought along my earbuds to listen to music while walking and snapping pictures, I am so glad I forgot them in the van. Had my iPhone been playing music, I would’ve missed an even greater concert that has surpassed anything an instrument, a human voice or technology could have composed, and performed. For today, I was blessed to journey through one of the most outstanding concert halls known to man – Mother Nature’s concert hall.
Thank you, Emily and Diane, for sharing your enthusiasm for this beautiful park, and for encouraging me to love it just as much as you do.
When I went to bed the evening of August 24th, 2012, I had no idea how, within a few hours, my world would be altered. A curse from twenty-years before was to be repeated.
It is now 12:15 AM, August 24th, 2013.
A year has passed.
In 1987, I lost a beloved uncle to suicide. I felt cheated that I was not allowed to experience more life with him, that he would not get to see the early stages of my career advance, and later, he would not get to meet my sons.
The following year, another Haas nephew, Justin, was born. A few years before, my sister, Autumn Haas, had given birth to Michael. With Justin’s birth I realized that while I was still a nephew, I was also an uncle. I had been trained by two wonderful uncles, Ron Barmes and Garry Jolliff, and I knew that I was exceptionally well-trained for uncle-hood.
Michael was the artist, and Justin was the actor. For what more could an artistic, theatre-driven uncle ask?
Justin, though seemingly happy go-lucky, secure and confident, was racked with depression as he entered his late teens. When he turned 20, he begged me to help him. I consulted a friend in Muncie who served as his counselor, and I was happy to see an improvement. I was all too familiar with the horrors and hell of depression, and its debilitating imprisonment, and I was relieved to see the weight lifted from his small shoulders.
Both Michael and Justin were blessed with marvelous personalities that exude a clever wit, intelligence, happiness, and terribly kind hearts. Despite this, and his talent as a thespian, Justin was an imprisoned soul with the depression.
It is never truly clear why some individuals feel the need to cut short their life’s journey. While they bury their emotional scars with their selfish, pain-driven choice, those of us remaining have the insurmountable, anguished task of carrying the hideous scars that result from their choice.
Twenty-five years separate the deaths of a beloved uncle and a dearly loved nephew. I’ve missed time spent with my uncle, and oh, how I have deeply missed his laughter and joking. I’ve missed the late-night telephone calls from my nephew, the little texts wishing me a good day or letting me know he was thinking about me, and his laughter – most often filled with piss and vinegar.
While the questions of “why?” shall be a scar that eventually fades with time, the scars of missing those much-loved souls will forever fester.
And so, just as I wrote to Justin one year ago, this particularly favorite line from William Shakespeare’s, HAMLET, I offer it up again, with more reassurance:
“Good night, Sweet Prince, and flights of angels continue to sing Thee to Thy rest.”
C-SPAN’s First Ladies’ Series Encore presentations from Season 1
Starting Monday, August 5, C-SPAN began airing encore presentations of Season 1 First Ladies: Influence and Image from Martha Washington through Ida McKinley. These episodes will air weeknights at 9pm ET on C-SPAN.
Season 2 premieres on Monday, September 9, with Edith Roosevelt.
Additionally, on Monday, September 2 there will be a First Ladies: Influence and Image Season 2 preview program. This program will assess what we learned about the first ladies in Season 1 and where the role of the first lady will go as we approach the launch of the modern era in Season 2.
Our e-newsletter is another way to keep you connected with the events, exhibits and happenings at the National First Ladies’ Library. To find even more interesting information go to our Facebook page, National First Ladies’ Library. Friend us!!
Congratulations to our 2013 NFLL Scholarship winners!!
Left to Right: Rachel Littler, Brianna Mayle, Rachel Vaught, Kylie Warner, Mary Regula, Elizabeth Haavisto & Megan Smeznik
View a video of the Award Presentation by our Founder, Mary Regula –
2013 National First Ladies Library Scholarship Award Ceremony
Legacy Lecture Series
September 9, 2013
BYOL (Bring your own lunch) 11:00 a.m. @ Education & Research Center, downtown Canton Stark County Commissioner Janet Creighton
a local woman with an illustrious political career spanning from Canton, Ohio to the Bush White House, discusses the “press experience”.
Free but seating is limited, call for reservations: 330-452-0876 Ext. 307. Janet Creighton
September 30, 2013
BYOL – (Bring your own Lunch)
11:00 a.m. @ Education & Research Center, downtown Canton
Trevor Dean, former Policy Advisor to Senator Hillary Clinton
Mr. Dean will give an insider’s view of his behind the scenes involvement legislating and campaigning for an unprecedented former First Lady, Hillary Rodham Clinton. Trevor Dean
Free, but seating is limited, call for reservations: 330-452-0876 Ext. 307.
Blogging It!
Last month we announced an exciting new addition to our website, a blog written by our historian and author Carl Sferrazza Anthony. Be sure to check out this month’s article “Does the public have a right to know about First Ladies’ medical conditions?”
Michelle Obama posts birthday message to her ‘grayer’ husband Barack Michelle Obama gently poked fun at her husband Barack Obama as he marked his 52nd birthday on Aug. 4th. The First Lady took to her official Twitter account to celebrate the President’s special day in a message sent out to her 450,000 followers.
“Happy birthday Barack!” she wrote. “Your hair’s a little grayer, but I love you more than ever.”
Her tweet was accompanied by a black and white photo of the Obamas as a young couple. For complete article, click here . . . .
Michelle Obama releasing ‘Let’s Move!’ hip-hop album
Michelle Obama is teaming up with some big names in hip-hop to release a rap album promoting her “Let’s Move!” campaign, which fights childhood obesity. click here for more info and preview
How well do you know our First Lady? Follow this link and take a quiz covering some interesting facts and trivia about Michelle Obama . . . Click here for Quiz . . .
National First Ladies’ Library | Museum & Ida Saxton McKinley House – 331 S. Market Ave. | Education and Research Center – 205 S. Market Ave. | Canton | OH | 44702
With the start of the new school year comes the start of my new fall teaching schedule. Although I love having my mornings free to write and research, I have to force myself to stay on task so that I am not busying myself with house cleaning, projects and running errands.
This morning, I failed at staying on task.
At 8:30 AM I decided to run to the store to get dog food. I left the store without any dog food, but I did have 10 bags of crushed stone and 10 new Hosta plants – all at a very good sale price. I ended up stopping at Dollar General for the dog food, and made an additional stop at Kroger to purchase groceries to last through the weekend.
Now, it is 10:30 AM and I’ve done nothing by way of writing. My teaching day begins at 3:30 PM and is a short one due to some school rehearsals. I’ve already decided to prep my supper, empty 10 bags of stone on my walkways in the back, and plant my hostas.
I guess I am still being productive, but it’s not the productivity I would’ve preferred since I am feeling a tad bit creative this morning.
I drove to Meijer to get a bag of dog food, not feeling like driving out to tractor supply store in Beavercreek. I got distracted in the garden section and ended up buying 10 bags of crushed stone for $.79 each, and 10 hostas at a dollar 25 each. I forgot all about the dog food.
I stopped in Dollar General to purchase a bag of dog food, and while walking from the front of the store to the back continued to hear an elderly man bitterly complaining about everything in sight. Naturally, he followed me up to the checkout and stood behind me grumbling about the temperature in the store, the cheerfulness of the staff, and anything else that did not particularly suit him.
My iPhone announced that I had an email newly arrived, and as the cashier was checking my items, I looked at my phone. The gentleman grumbled, “when I was your age we didn’t have those kind of distractions.”
I knew I was taking a risk, but I could not pass up the moment. (And at this point in reading, I am sure my mother has already reached for a package of Tum’s.). I looked over my shoulder at the gentleman, and chuckled, “I am sure it was a great disadvantage being born after Alexander Graham Bell.”
I heard a gasp from the cashier, and saw the gentleman’s eyebrows rise to his receding hairline. For only a brief second, he looked a bit stunned, and then began howling.
“That was excellent. I can’t wait to tell my friends at lunch today. You made my day.”
As I was leaving, and returning my cart to the corral, I heard him cheerfully chatter with the cashier.
I don’t know if it was the new schedule, the full moon, or the long teaching schedules for Monday and Tuesday (Wednesdays and Thursdays are actually longer) with 14 students each, but my butt was wiped out on this beautiful Wednesday.
I hopped right out of bed, but within minutes of our 6:30 AM walk, I was feeling the sluggishness set in. Writing was out of the question. I did mow the yard, front and back, at 9:00 AM, but after that I lounged, napping in the guest room.
Finally, it was time to teach. I seemed much revived, and when I finished at 9:40 PM, I was still filled with energy for our evening walk.
This evening was difficult at times… several of my high school students were dealing with personal issues – friends, bullying. Most of their lessons were spent listening to them, handing over Kleenex, and giving them reassuring hugs, accompanied by words of encouragement, and reminders that they are loved.
Another high school student had stumbled across an album with Scott Alan compositions and fell in love with Sutton Foster’s “Always.” I had sent this recording to my 24 year old nephew about a month before he felt the need to end his life. Mark pulled “Always” up on YouTube, and as I was fighting back my own tears, I looked over to see tears gushing frommy student’s eyes. He admitted that he was having a difficult week.
Something is in the air, or the full moon is working its magic.
I don’t believe I’ve ever experienced so much change within a short period of time. And, despite some departures that I sorely miss, the transitions have been tenderly welcomed, and smooth.
The dynamics of the family structure changed in late May. Despite the sorrows it brought, I’ve come to realize just how much healthier the house has become, and just much more healthy I’ve become. The stress had been taking a slight toll on me, and in many ways, this change was greatly liberating.
Since last fall, Flyer’s health had been a roller coaster. The end of July, it became evident that there would be no more coaster rides to the top for my girl. And, sadly, July 29th, she slipped away as Chief and I held her, and reassured her she will always be loved. Though it is sad to not have Flyer with us, she is no longer suffering. And, I am regaining my footing as the stress of nursing her is over.
I completely rearranged the house, bought new furniture, and have enjoyed the new spaces, and especially, my new, larger study. New curtains hang in several rooms, and this new arrangement of The Hassienda is quite agreeable, and comfortable.
I spent precious little time in the yard with plants and flowers. There were no major exterior projects as in past years, and I honestly did not miss a moment. I did not lose sleep if a weed began growing, and even though I am looking out across the backyard that did not receive much attention, I am satisfied that I enjoyed my time this summer.
Some things just do not matter any more. And that’s OK!
I spent more time with dear friends, added a friend to my very small, close circle of friends, bid farewell to a beloved friend who moved to Kansas, and attended some social events – two of which were weddings! Many meetings occurred at my favorite Kettering shop, Awesome Yogurt. I allowed my self more “me”-time than I have in thirteen years. Thanks to a special friend, I was reintroduced to Me.
I’ve branched out in some areas, as well. Despite hating to step foot in my kitchen for actual cooking, I’ve been nudged in that direction, with more confidence, and assurance that cooking, like music, requires practice. I am such a process-oriented guy, yet, the process of cooking always feels time consuming when I could be doing other things. Time will tell.
I also attended more music and theatre events than I have in many years. It is nice to be back in that circle, again.
I am almost finished with the planning of my “Live Out Loud” list – the 49 new things I will do over the course of the coming year, commencing on my 49th birthday in September. I am looking forward to these adventures. I am doing these things for me, and with the hope of encouraging others to stretch their comfort levels, and do things they’ve always wanted to do.
My list of theatre and music events to attend over the next nine months is staggering! I’ve always slightly envied my friend, Jeff Carter, for all the music/theatre he gets to enjoy. By golly, this year, I just might beat Jeff’s record of most events attended. Sadly, I cannot see everything I wish to see as there are 3-5 events piled on the same day.
The changes have been healthy. I am walking 4-6 miles per day, and my sugar counts have been super. The lack of stress, more exercise and healthier eating habits are paying off, allowing me to enjoy life so much more than I have in the past. And just knowing there are some folks out there who care about me, personally, makes all the difference.
Today, my summer has officially ended, but the effects of this wonderful season have been, and will prove to be, fantastic!
My day did not begin until 8:15 AM, and I feel as though I wasted a good portion of it. Our walk was a little longer, and without incident: no unruly dogs owned by those who do not know how to control their pets (some walk unleashed dogs that run to mine!); no major squirrel or bunny traffic.
Yesterday was quite eventful and fun, spent in the company of great friends. I hit the Oakwood farmer’s market due to a prompt from one of my students’ parents (I thought her Awesome Yogurt store had a booth – darn! No booth!). I seldom go through the main district of Oakwood, so took this opportunity to stop at Smith Gardens, one of my favorite haunts introduced to me by my neighbor, Kay, when we first moved here. With camera in hand, I spent a good 45 minutes happily snapping away.
I ventured to downtown Dayton, and discovered some incredible paintings of well known works on boarded up windows. [see collection below] Impressive! I traveled a bit through St. Anne’s Hill district before turning home at Noon.
1:00 PM I was at The Greene to have lunch and chat time with three dear friends: Erin Grote, Suzanne Grote and Aaron Jacobs. I love this trio, and will miss Erin once she heads up to Interlochen in Michigan where she will complete her senior year of high school.
At 4:00 PM I ventured in to purchase a bottle of wine from a friend. I am not very schooled in wine, or any spirits for that matter, and received a good education regarding the benefits of wine for general health, and diabetes. Instead of a bottle, I left with a carton of four single serving bottles with different wines so I can sample to see what I might like most.
Before returning home, I made a stop at Awesome Yogurt and was surprised to see one of my students working! Nice reunion since I’ve not seen her all summer.
The evening was quiet, and peaceful.
This morning, following our late walk and breakfast, I snapped green beans, chatted with Mother, worked on the Mary Lincoln musical, and putzed around the house with laundry and some basic cleaning to prepare for the start of the teaching week. My vacation, mostly quiet days at home, has come to an end. No more breaks until the Christmas holidays.
Now, the sun has risen to the point where I can barely make out the items on my lap top’s monitor. Time to head inside and work a little more through the afternoon.
For some reason, this morning seems like it is on a slow motion setting. Generally, I seldom fumble for energy. In fact, I do have a good deal of energy yet there seems to be a slight battle with a sense of sluggishness that wants to creep in. Normally we are out the door by 6:45 AM for our morning walk. However, this morning I opted actually sleep in until 7:15 AM. Our walk did not start until 7:30 AM, and the entire time it just seemed as though the walk was taking forever.
The best part was running into my neighbor lady, Mary Lou Miller, and getting a hug from her right in the middle of Shroyer Road.
This morning, I am heading to Oakwood’s farmers market. A student’s parent who happens to own one of my favorite places in Kettering, Awesome Yogurt, has been talking about this particular event each Saturday morning.
At 1 PM, I will meet several of my favorite people for lunch at The Greene. Suzanne, Aaron and Erin are always such a fun trio. Miss Erin turns 18 years old tomorrow, and in a few weeks will be finishing her senior year, not at Yellow Springs high school, but at Interlochen. Despite being an incredible cellist, Erin’s primary interest is in film studies. I’m sure she will carve out an incredible niche in this arena, as she is one of the most impressive young ladies I’ve ever met in my life.
Other than that, it’s a rather quiet and solitary weekend.
I tend to forget, however, that grief is also a process. 45 minutes after Flyer’s passing, The Kids and I were on our walk, maintaining our morning routine. I felt sticking to our daily schedule would help myself, and Navi and Chief.
And, it has.
I’ve had my moment where my eyes have misted, but those moments are lessening. The joy of Flyer’s spirit will always remain, but I am finding the little things that linger. Her food bowl is still in its place, and her retractable leash still hangs by the front door. I’m in no hurry to move these items.
Last week, I discovered a full bag of Flyer’s special kibble in the pantry across the room from The Kids’ food bin. Normally, I would mix a half cup of kibble in with Flyer’s homemade chicken, rice and vegetables to give it a little more texture, and to keep her teeth strong. I opened the bag and poured it into Chief and Navi’s bowls. Navi sniffed the contents, and laid down by her bowl. Now, with Navi, eating is more like “Bid A Note” from the old television game show, NAME THAT TUNE. “I can eat my food in four gulps.”
I set down Chief’s bowl, and he looked up at me with his sad-eyes look. He walked over to Flyer’s bowl, nudged it toward me, and sat down. I knelt, suspecting what was going through his mind. I scooped some of the kibble into my palm and held it to his mouth. “This is Chief’s food, now.” He turned his head. After another attempt, Chief walked into the center-hall that adjoins the kitchen, living room, bathroom, study and guest bedroom, and laid down. I replaced the kibble in the bag, and scooped out their food. It disappeared.
This morning, there were two remaining peanut butter flavored glucosamine treats in the large glass cookie jar. Flyer’s special treats were always kept in this jar, while The Kids’ treats were kept in a tin pale. I distributed the treats, and filled the glass cookie jar with Navi & Chief’s treats.
I am sure I am on the spectrum of Elizabeth Kubler Ross’s five stages of grief, but as with everything in life, I am doing it my way, as well.
When we first moved to The Haasienda del Shroyer, Flyer became the official squirrel chaser, and Logan, my cat, took care of the chipmunks and mice who dared enter the house. This morning, as I sit on the deck drinking tea and typing, Chief and Navi are patrolling the backyard from the top of the steps. No squirrels or bunnies dare enter the grounds of The Haasienda.
Life moves on with different chapters closing, and opening up. It’s a good script.
Saturday afternoon, my friend, Suzanne, and I were trying to figure out what to do for the evening since we were both free. I noted a Facebook post by Dawn Roth Smith requesting ushers for The Zoot Theatre Company‘s production, THE TEMPEST, showing at the Dayton Art Institute. Within a few minutes, Dawn had two ushers.
The production was held in the open-air cloister in the middle of the museum. It is a lovely setting, and was perfect for this production. The actors were fantastic, and oft, quite comical. Many of these students are products of Wright State University’s theatre program. No explanation needed as to why they were fantastic.
Dayton Daily News photo
Tristan Cupp’s puppets were incredibly designed and built. I first met Tristan in 2000 when I was Rapunzel’s Prince in Sinclair Community College’s production, INTO THE WOODS. Tristan sculpted the most exquisite cow, Milky White. I had never seen this artist in action, and it was amazing to watch him design, build and fashion this particular “character” for the production. Milky White was another version of Michelangelo’s masterpiece, David. The muscles and facial features were unbelievable. Tristan recently designed and built the puppets for The Human Race Theatre Company’s, AVENUE Q, and are now available for production rentals!
It is odd to the eye, at first, to connect with the puppets, however, in a few minutes you forget there are human beings behind the puppets, and speaking through them.
I had two firsts last night: being an usher, and seeing a Zoot production. I intend to see more Zoot productions. Ushering… if needed.
The tie of this blog post implies I am going on a trip; however, I am simply taking time off for the next nine days. I have no plans other than to write, read, watch documentaries, spend time with a few friends, continue work on my transition plan, finalize details on my Live Out Loud list, have more fun with The Kids, and if I can bring my self to it, relax.
Show choir camp at Beavercreek was a success. Friday evening, following the show choir camp’s parent show, I got to catch a few minutes of the high school’s marching band parent show before hurrying on over to Ankeney Middle School to see their show choir’s parent show. I am so proud of all my students!
I woke promptly at 6:15 AM. I am refusing to officially begin this day until 8:00 AM. We’ll see. At least the kids are cooperating for the moment and lounging.
The Haasienda on Shroyer... 