The Haasienda on Shroyer…

I love programs that explain things.  Mister Rogers did a great job of taking us on learning adventures to see how crayons, Graham crackers, perfume, ice cream and countless other things were made.

THE HISTORY CHANNEL offers “Modern Marvels” which is one of my all time favorite programs.  Today, they are programming technology per decade.  Right now, we are in the 1980’s and we’ve seen the progression from tape recorders, to 8-tracks, to cassettes, to CD’s.  What is neat is that they also give a brief description of how these items were constructed, and work.  I am not a science, or technical kind of guy, but I enjoy these brief descriptions.

My great-grandfather, John William Garrett Clary, was born in 1898 and survived just short of a full century.  He was so fortunate to witness no much in his life time.  I’ve always thought I have witnessed so many things, but the inventions in my 48 years seems to be mostly about advancements, and improvements. I believe my great-grandfather’s generation witnessed the truly incredible inventions: electric lighting, automobiles, airplanes, rockets, radio, television, and telephones.  I love living in my exciting world, but I believe he had an even more exciting world in which to live.

This morning around 5 AM, I was awakened by the sound of scurrying feet on the wooden floor upstairs. I turned on my light to find Flyer frantically walking in circles around the room. I figured she had to potty, and I got out of bed to take her out the front door. It was difficult to corral her because she even wanted to go in circles going down the stairs. In the front yard she just continued to walk in circles. I’ve seen her do this several times before these past few weeks. She has no idea who I am, nor does she seem cognizant of anything around her. Back inside the house she continued to walk in circles around the kitchen, ignoring all my commands to sit or lay down. Finally I shouted her name, and she seemed stunned and looked up at me; she wagged her tail and laid down. This morning, she seemed perfectly balanced, and ready for our walk at 8 AM. In fact, there were several times that she was even running. I’ve not seen her run in several years.

This morning I am sitting propped up in bed, with my laptop on my hospital table. This is a nice change of pace from working at my desk. Navi and Chief are crowded together at the foot of the bed, and Flyer is laying on a pile of doggie blankets.

In the early afternoon, my neighbor lady and I will be going “stoning.”

I am sure that many who are reading this are questioning this term.

For the past 34 years, I have worked on my families genealogy. Quite often, when the boys and I would return to Indiana we would take the opportunity to visit different cemeteries. We kept notebooks and pens in the car for just such an occasion. The purpose was to not only locate the various graves of family ancestors, but to also give detailed directions for other family members to find these sites. Of course, I took photographs for verification of spellings and dates. Therefore, the boys began jokingly calling these little expeditions, “stoning.” This has now become the term synonymous with any visit to a cemetery for me.

So, this afternoon my neighbor lady, Kay, and I will head down to Calvary Cemetery, right next to Carillon Park, so she can show me the gravesites of some of her family, as well as where she will one day be interred.

I think Dayton’s Calvary Cemetery and Woodland Cemetery are the most beautiful cemeteries I ever visited. My college friends, Linda and David Lewis, have been encouraging me to visit a well-known cemetery up in Cleveland. Or, maybe Toledo. I can’t remember which one.

So if any of you are going out to visit cemeteries today, “happy stoning!”

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

July 4, 2013, is winding down with nearly 90 minutes left of this day. It was a gray, soggy day throughout.

By 8:50 AM I was making my way towards Centerville. Since I know the area like the back of my hand, I effortlessly pulled into the parking lot of McCutcheon Music on Franklin Street. There I was warmly greeted by Debbie McCutcheon, and her family. I was so eager to see Jim and Debbie’s youngest son, Jeff, who was a student of mine for several years back in the early 90s. Both McCutcheon sons have turned into incredible men, with beautiful wives, and some new additions arriving later this year. James and his wife, already parents of two boys, will welcome a third child this October. Jeff, now a professor at the University of Connecticut, and his wife will welcome their first child in December. Exciting stuff.

After returning to Kettering in the afternoon, I worked with one of my students to prepare music for his great-grandmother’s funeral this Saturday. After Ethan left, I prepared a huge batch of mushroom and rice soup. I must say, it was rather delicious.

The dogs and I took an earlier walk with the hopes of avoiding some of the area’s community fireworks. However, quite a few people throughout the neighborhood were setting off their own fireworks. I was quite surprised that Navi and Chief were not frightened by the loud noises. Flyer has always been the trooper, and loud noises never bothered her. In fact, when she was a puppy, I would take her to community band rehearsals with me and she would sleep underneath the bass drum.

Another Fourth of July is now in the record books. I am so grateful for the wonderful efforts and bravery of our Revolutionary fathers and mothers. Because of their courage and determination, my forefathers on all sides of my family arrived in a new world. Many traveled here within the first 50 years of our country’s birth. Had it not been for the events of July 4, 1776, it is probable that I would’ve never ever made it into this world.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

In 2007, one of my sons and I were en route to The Outer Banks for our vacation, and we planned a visit at Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello to coordinate with the Naturalization Ceremony. The guest speaker was actor Sam Waterston. His speech was beautifully delivered.

Here is the text of Mr. Waterston’s moving, inspiring speech from my original post:

Sam Waterston’s speech, July 4, 2007

This is my most favorite holiday.

Christmas is OK, but it is not even in the top four with this holiday, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Presidents’ Day.  These holidays, along with Veterans Day, celebrate our nation and its rich heritage.

I drifted to sleep by 12:45am, and by 2:00am I was scurrying around the house shutting windows as the overburdened drains on the street created temporary lakes. The dogs seemed content they were remaining downstairs. Flyer had many ups and downs Wednesday, and I figured it best not to have her climb stairs. Chief actually allowed this separation to continue – I was amazed.

This morning, they were eagerly awaiting me as I descended the stairs. Our walk was pleasant, and very quiet.

My plans are to head to Centerville to watch the Americana Parade from the second story of McCutcheon’s Music Store on Franklin Street – right by the grandstand. The McCutcheon family gathers for their traditional host site, and their younger son, my former student, is in from Connecticut. Following the parade, I may attempt the horribly long festival route.

Other than that, my plans are minimal. I’d prefer to return home to some writing time.  I may even watch one of my favorite musicals, 1776.

“Sit Down, John” – 1776

Wishing everyone a happy Fourth of July!

With the exception of getting to spend some time with Emily Webb, and her lovely mother and sister, and the pastor as we planned the funeral service for Emily’s grandmother, it was a somewhat dull day. Even a trip to Tractor Supply in Beavercreek to buy dog food did not liven up my day. Normally going to Tractor Supply is like a trip to Disney World.

Tomorrow is Centerville’s Americana parade. From several people I’ve learned the weather is to be rather wet. At this moment, I am planning on attending, sitting on the second floor of McCutcheon Music Store’s Franklin Street location. This is a perfect vantage point where I can photograph over the heads of the crowd.

I should probably attempt sleep in the very near future since I only received three hours of sleep last night. Some morons in the neighborhood or setting off the time of firecrackers. Fortunately, this has not reduced Navi and Chief to teeth chattering idiocy.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

Yesterday, I had a lengthy lunch with one of my dearest friends, Nancy Winslow. I’ve known Nancy nearly 20 years now, and she and her husband are moving to Eudora, Kansas. Since I was sandwiched right in between the ages of her own two sons, Nancy adopted me as her Hoosier son. I will certainly miss my lunches with Nancy. However, we both believe that I will get to visit her in her new home near Kansas City, Kansas, when I apply one of the items on my 49-list for next year.

The remainder of my afternoon was spent exploring old musical theater clips on YouTube, and doing some basic research work for my writing. The evening was quiet, and uneventful. I spent most of the evening on the deck writing, and sharing some emails with a good friend regarding our mutual interests in music and composing. Quite invigorating.

When I finally settled down to sleep around midnight, I could still feel that I was wired. And was I ever. It was 4 AM that I last remember seeing on the clock. I escaped both of the alarms on my cell phone, but was shocked into an awakened state when a wet, cold nose nudged me right in the middle of my bare back. With that little nudge from Chief, Navi immediately began dancing around the bedroom when I set up. And with the sudden excitement in the room, Flyer stirred from her little nest of blankets. It was nearly 8 AM.

Our walk is completed, and the dogs have had their breakfast. I just finished my breakfast on the deck at 9:05 AM. I honestly feel like I’ve wasted a quarter of my day. Heck, it’s nearly lunch time now.

I hope to spend my entire morning and as much of the early afternoon out on the deck writing. At 3 PM I will venture down to Centerville to attend a planning session for a funeral this Saturday morning. Two of my students, siblings, lost their 93-year-old great-grandmother. Their mother, a sweet friend, asked if I would please take care of the music. Of course I will.

Now it is time to connect with my creative self. It is strange that I think that I must connect with my creative self, when actually, it never really leaves me. But, whatever it takes to get me through my day.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

Today is my vacation’s jump day After the day I will only have five more days left of vacation. So far, it has been quite enjoyable, but not as productive as I would’ve preferred in the writing arena.

Monday could’ve not been any more perfect. I spent the lunch hours with a friend, and then went to a movie with another friend. There were a few other friends who were not on yesterday’s agenda that would’ve made the day even more perfect. But we solved that with emails.

Today I will have lunch with a very dear friend of mine. I first met Nancy Winslow when I became director of music at Normandy United Methodist Church back in 1996. Nancy had been highly involved in the working machinations of the district offices. Therefore, she was expert in all the details and workings of the church, and the greater church.

Nancy has two sons, and I am sandwiched, age wise, between both Steve and Phil. So, Nancy simply adopted me as a third son. What has been need, his these past few years bills daughter, Samantha, has been one of my voice students. I have gotten to know one of my adopted Ohio brothers.

Nancy and her husband, Elvin, will be moving to Kansas. So, today is one of those bittersweet days of enjoying some time with Nancy before they move. We will have email to keep us in touch, and of course communications from her son and granddaughter, but it won’t be the same not having Nancy right here in Kettering.

I may venture down to Centerville tonight to watch the Air Force Band of Flight. This is one of my all-time favorite ensembles. This ensemble was the first Air Force band in United States history, and was started by another good friend, band director Paul Schartle.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

A somewhat uneventful day with eventful items. The trip to PetSmart and Kroger were the most eventful out-of-house events.  I chatted with Mother via phone for an hour or so, and then decided to head to Dayton’s fireworks.  As I was walking out the door rain began falling, and I retreated to my study. The rain was short-lived, and so were my plans to head down town.

I spent the remainder of the evening watching a Netflix documentary. Uninteresting.

Our 11pm walk began without incident. As we neared the intersection of Shroyer & Lincoln Park, Flyer toppled over. She did not seem fazed, and returned to her slow steady gait. A few more topples, but the old girl persisted in her sniffing.

The walks are not invigorating for The Kids, nor myself, but they are for Flyer who still wishes to be a part of the family action. She loves her walks, and I do not mind moving at a slower pace to accommodate her.

So, this Sunday is now wrapped up. I am heading up to the new bed chamber for a bit of tube before shutting down completely. Tomorrow, I will have lunch with a friend, and return home to little else planned. I do hope to be kidnapped by some creative endeavors, but will play it all by ear.

Today at 1 PM I took all three dogs over to Petsmart for their annual vaccinations. Navi, generally the most skittish one of the trio, spent most of her time cowering away from the other pets. Chief, the bold and brave one, seemed a bit excited around the other dogs. He really really wanted to play. Flyer remained in the car with all the windows open while I checked with the vet about whether or not she needed a vaccination.

When I explained Flyer’s health issues, the vet put her hand on my shoulder, and shook her head that it was not necessary to give her another vaccination. Although I knew the answer, it was a bit difficult to swallow the news.

Both kids behaved admirably, and I was quite relieved. They each received a microchip, as well.

As I got ready to walk away, the vet stopped me and asked if I would please bring Flyer in so she could see her one last time. Flyer seemed to sense where she was, and eagerly walked into the store, sniffing her way around. The family with their two dogs behind me overheard the conversation between the veterinarian and myself, and they began petting Flyer when I took her into the line. The doctor got down on her knees and hugged Flyer and told her she loved her, and Flyer wiggled and wagged her tail. I looked up to see the veterinarian’s assistant was in tears, and the family behind me was wiping away tears. The doctor gave Flyer one last kiss on the forehead, and scratched behind her ears.

The farewell process began quite some time ago, but it’s becoming a little bit more real. I always wonder when some of our activities will be her last time. But, she seems happy, content, as loving as ever, and in complete comfort.

God bless all those professionals who take care of our beloved pets.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

Today seems like my first official day of vacation. I only have a graduation party for the evening, but it seems like some of my obligatory duties are complete.

Last night I slept upstairs for the second time sans the dogs. Three or four times I had to return downstairs to tell Chief to stop barking. I don’t know what his problem was but every time I returned downstairs he seemed overjoyed to see me. Therefore, my sleep was interrupted and a bit restless.

This morning got off to a late start and we were not even on our walk until 8:30 AM. There was a concert last night at the Fraze Pavilion, and the high school’s parking lot was littered with the typical post-concert debris. Navi and Chief are always excited on our post concert walks. So many things to explore and sniff.

Flyer’s been a bit unsteady the past couple days. Her legs seem weak, yet she still has her sweet spirit and energy. She’s taken a few spills while standing, but seems to do okay while she’s walking. I think I will take her to Hawthorne Hill for a small walk around the property, and then over to Woodland Cemetery to visit her favorite grave: Wilbur Wright’s.

The skies are gray, and the air feels damp today. We are not supposed to receive rain until the evening, but it feels like it could occur at any time.

Safe travels to my dear friend, Jeffrey Carter, who is heading over to England for the next six weeks. I am always here to read his blogs and see all the photographs he posts from his journeys. One day, I hope to travel to England with either Jeff, or Suzanne Grite as my guide. However, a trip to England is not on my Live Out Loud list preceding my 50th birthday.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

When I got my iPhone a few months ago, I discovered one of the greatest tools that I’ve known in a long time.

Siri.

Or rather, I thought it was a great tool. Some days, I am just not quite sure. I am submitting this blog post without any corrections from series of original translation.

I still cannot figure out, even with assistance from several on Facebook this morning, how to get Siri to understand that my name is Darren. It also cannot comprehend that my dogs are named: flyer, David, and chief. The one female dogs name shared much better today as it is usually spelled knobby. Just how the heck Siri got David out of Navi is beyond me. And I don’t believe that her name was actually spelled right in the last sentence.

The one thing that I find amusing, sometimes, is that Siri will list a completely different word, term, or phrase, and then offer a suggestion which includes what I was intending to write. Siri logic is a bit screwed up at times.

I also need to go back in and change the setting for the responding voice. Right now, it is a British man speaking to me. It reminds me of Mr. Carson and Dowington Abby. Although I dearly love Mr. Carson and the TV show Dowton Abbey, I literally get into shouting matches with this idiot on Siri. His properness often annoys me greatly.

There are certain words in which I use correct pronunciations based upon British pronunciations. In certain words that contain the long you [u] sound, Such as new, Tuesday, or dew, I insert a YOO [yoo]. Therefore, I pronounce the words as: nu, cues day, and view. Now, those who know me have become used to how I pronounce these words. Obviously, Siri cannot figure this out.

There are some days when I just don’t even care to go back in and correct what Siri has spelled out. There have been, however, corrections that are a necessity. For instance, when I was trying to say acidity, it kept coming out ass city. Now, I enunciate clearly, and always attempt to say things as purely and clearly as I can. However, that just is not good enough for Siri on some days. You should’ve seen how the word Elmer Fudd came out and one email. It was not pretty.

I shall continue to investigate Siri [I accidentally said,’theory’] Because it is a fascinating tool, and allows me to multitask.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

Twenty years ago today, a personal tradition was born.

At 2:15pm each June 27th I sit at the piano, and play “Red River Valley.”

There was a darling little lady that welcomed me into this world in 1964, and on June 27th, 1992, twenty-one years ago, I stood by her side, holding her hand as she slipped away from her earthly life.

When I returned to Dayton from Indianapolis later that evening, I immediately noticed the hands on the small clock with the decorative emerald boarder had stopped at 2:15. The clock, along with the matching frame, was a gift from my grandmother.

Although a few tears fall during this private tribute to my beloved grandmother, Donna Barmes, I am also remembering the many life and family history lessons taught; the deep affection and tremendous support for all my endeavors – large and small; a love for flowers and plants which I’ve seemed to inherit more as I age; our numerous late night discussions – especially those nights during my college and early teaching years when we’d sit by candlelight at the dining room table – she playing solitaire while I worked on arrangements; and the laughter… always the laughter.

From the movie, IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, we got “when a bell rings an angel gets its wings.” For me, “when I am laughing, Grandma is still smiling on me – and probably laughing even harder.”

Donna M. Clary Barmes
May 8, 1924 – June 27, 1992

Red River Valley
arranged and adapted by Arlo Guthrie

From this valley they say you are going
We will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile
For they say you are taking the sunshine
That has brightened our pathways awhile

CHORUS:
Come and sit by my side, if you love me
Do not hasten to bid me adieu
Just remember the Red River Valley
And the cowboy who loved you so true

I've been thinking a long time, my darling
Of the sweet words you never would say
Now, alas, must my fond hopes all vanish
For they say you are gong away

Do you think of the valley you're leaving
O how lonely and how dreary it will be
And do you think of the kind hearts you're breaking
And the pain you are causing to me

CHORUS
They will bury me where you have wandered
Near the hills where the daffodils grow
When you're gone from the Red River Valley
For I can't live without you I know

CHORUS

Man, oh man. The intersection of Shroyer Road and Lincoln Park Boulevard was like a dog walk festival. Seldom do we ever see other dogs out during the morning walk, but this morning we encountered seven dogs. Five of the dogs were right there in the little park at the intersection. It became a well choreographed dance of dog owners carefully calculating one another’s movements. Chief, in particular, gets very excited when he sees other dogs. This morning I had to corral him several times to keep him from pulling me clear over to another dog. He just wants to play with other dogs so badly.

The dogs are fed, and now or lounging in their respective spots: Chief is at my feet, Navi is in the guest bedroom, and Flyer is on her pillow in the corner of my study.

Time for breakfast, and dealing with the typical morning business before figuring out what to do on my first day of vacation. It shan’t be wasted.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

A somewhat dull evening, however, PBS came to the rescue with a documentary on Henry Ford.

Hey long day of teaching was completed an hour early due to a cancellation. I ran to Kroger to get some groceries for the remainder of the week. The neighborhood was packed with parked cars and people herding themselves into the Fraze Pavilion. Tonight, the rock groups Styx and REO Speed Wagon are in concert. I am hoping that most will be cleared out by 11 o’clock for our evening walk together.

Tomorrow I will finish teaching, and have 11 days to myself. I am praying the creative juices will be flowing heavily for 11 days.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

Nothing out of the usual today I taught from 9:30 AM until 8 PM with an hour break. I did have one open lesson when the family could make it in time and hurried outback tomorrow the backyard within 15 minutes. Also had the time to water all the plants in the front and the back.

Nothing exciting occurred this evening, I spent the time playing with the dogs, reading, and accidentally fell asleep. I am hoping that falling asleep is not held against me as I try to sleep now.

The four-legged creatures and I just returned from our regular nightly constitutional down to the corner of Lincoln Park Boulevard and around the little loop and back. Normally it is fairly busy on Shroyer Road, however, tonight it was very quiet. Perhaps only a half-dozen cars passed us while we were walking. The moon was beautiful, full and illuminating the area around me.

Tomorrow is a rather long day, and I am hoping it does not drag.

Flyer, for the time being, seems to be healthier and more energetic.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

Sundays are generally a combination of rest, reading, housework, yardwork, projects, and tidying up the house to prepare for the teaching week. In many ways, with the exception of usually talking to mother on the telephone, Sunday is almost like any other day here.

Today’s project centered around the curtains in the living room. I have one large window that faces out onto Shroyer Road, and two small rectangular windows that onto the driveway. I usually place of valance above the two smaller windows. Since I seldom find what I need to match the drapes on the larger window, I generally have to make my own. Since I do not sew, nor care to, I can do wonders with the iron-on tape to make my hemlines. This is what kept me busy for about 2 1/2 hours today. I constructed two valances and had enough material from the curtains I cut down in size to make table clause for the end tables in the living room.

All in all it looks pretty nice in the living room. Since the new furniture has no pattern, the curtains do. And in some ways, they are not like me at all. And if that’s okay. It is kind of fun branching out beyond my own sense of what is normal style for me.

While chatting with mother I began feeling waves of nausea and episodes of extreme perspiration. I didn’t feel warm, or as though I had a fever, but I was a tad bit clammy. A couple hours later I am still feeling a bit nauseous.

There is nothing on this evening’s docket. I thought about going to a movie, however I really don’t like going alone. I may think of going to a movie Wednesday night.

I will teach lessons for the next three days, and then I will have 11 days off for my summer vacation. I am hoping to complete some of my in-house projects the next few days so that I have nothing to do but write, relax, maybe take a day trip or two, and just enjoy myself. It would also be enjoyable to spend some time with one or two particular individuals.

The skies indicate bad weather approaching, I just received a text from the news station announcing a severe thunderstorm warning. It also looks as though the wind has picked up quite a bit. Hopefully, the rain will be out of the area by 10 o’clock when we usually take our evening walk.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

Just as the subject line says, it is a hot, muggy, humid Sunday morning here in the Miami Valley of Ohio. The dogs and I went on a walk at 7:30 AM and within 20 minutes we were starting to feel the effects of the impending yuckiness of the day. However, it is absolutely beautiful outside.

At 5:30 PM Saturday evening, the wedding ceremony for my former student commenced. I don’t think the family could’ve planned a more lovely wedding, nor a more fun, inviting reception. Although I seldom enjoy, or participate in these large crowd scenes, I did thoroughly enjoy myself.

Today will be spent inside, cleaning out some closets, attending to the basement, and perhaps, if there is any kind of coolness, clean out some things from the attic.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

It’s now after 3 AM and I’m still wide awake. This is what seeing a wonderful production can do to me. And Centerville high school certainly delivered a brilliant production this evening. I also wanted to respond to several notes sent by one person earlier in the day. I began writing around 1:30 AM and just finished. I suppose I could’ve saved the writing until tomorrow morning, however, I just wanted to spend some time feeling connected to this person. It’s funny how we can feel connected or close to someone simply by writing them a letter. Although I do text from my cell phone, I am not overly fond of the short, substituted symbols that represent words. Writing letters seems to have become a lost art and I find that sad. I received two very kind, and heartfelt notes today and I was touched and uplifted by the content. How exciting to receive those kinds of notes. Since I receive such thoughtfulness I felt compelled to return the favor. And even after writing for nearly 2 hours I still do not feel tired. That doggone musical at Centerville high school still has me energized. Plus, I think writing the letter has also energized me in the wee hours of the morning. Saturday promises to be not only a very warm day at 90°, but a very fun day filled with fun events.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

Five loads of mulch were transported to The Haasienda and spread in the replanted, redesigned hosta bed. That process was from 6:15am to 10:00am.  At 10:30am I headed over to Pati Rogers’ house. Ms. R kindly donated a huge tub load of irises to The Haasienda, and offered a tutorial on how to plant them.  I think I planted well over 30 throughout the front yard, and I still have at least half the tub still filled with iris bulbs.

While digging around in the front yard, Mary Hutcheson stopped by for a few minutes of rest as she walked over to Lincoln Park Manor to visit her husband, Tom. Tom was struck by a car last week while crossing Far Hills Avenue, and after immediate surgeries he has pulled through the worst part of this tragedy.

For six straight hours, save the few minutes of chatting with Pati and Mary, I have been working hard. Now, it is time to finish lunch, nap, run a few errands, eat dinner, and head to Centerville High School to see my student, David Emery, in the four man cast, [title of show].  This production will appear on the line-up at next week’s International Thespian Conference. This is quite an honor, and I am so proud of David, and the others in the cast.

One day, when I lived in Centerville, Ohio, I decided to go to several rummage sales and some of the nicer neighborhoods. I located the list of garage sales for the area and made out my list of which ones to attend. I turned in to this one neighborhood and drove down the street, and parked along the curb near a driveway lined with tons and tons of items. I got out of the car and began browsing along one side of the driveway. Hey gentleman walked up to me and casually asked if he could help me. I explained that I was just looking. He said that if I didn’t really want to look I could come help him clean out his garage. I looked up at him and then over into the garage to see that that’s exactly what he was doing. He was cleaning out his garage and not having a garage sale. He then directed me to the actual garage sale which was about four houses down. I just thought I hit the jackpot with two sales right next to each other.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

Years ago, someone told me about a neat little secret that aids men during the summer months from chafing. Take a plastic baggie and put it teaspoonful of the spice, alum, and it. But the baggy in your pocket and it is amazing how well it absorbs the moisture.

One year I was a chaperone for my son’s seventh grade trip to Kings Island. Since it was promising to be a hot, even rainy day, I put a bag of alum in my pants pocket. Now, whenever I go through any security or metal detector, I tend to set off the alarm. Why? I don’t know. I started through security at Kings Island and within seconds I had set off the alarm. The belt came off. All the contents were empty from my pockets. And without thinking I pulled out the baggie the lady with the rest of the contents of my pockets. Within seconds three or four security guards had arrived. They started pulling my backpack apart and showering me with questions. I explain the concept behind the baggie of alum, and they were still very suspicious. The one security officer, wearing a rubber glove, open the baggie and felt the contents. After rubbing the content crossed his fingers ever times he reported to the others: you must be right, the texture is different.

Each summer as I fill a baggy with alum I am always reminded of my little adventure at Kings Island.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

It is 6:15 AM and I am off to the Kettering compost bins. This is a nice little free offering from the city of Kettering. It does seem a bit early to be up getting my gardening fix on already, however, it is supposed to be up in the upper 80s today.

Yesterday was busy from 8:30 AM until 5:30 PM with nothing but constant errands. I came home and fed the dogs, fed myself, and then lay down to play some solitaire on my cell phone. By 7 PM I was out in the back laying down the weed block in the hosta bed. The hostas had been dug up and after the weed block was down I put them in a completely different arrangement. Just as I was finishing up my neighbor lady, Kay, and I set my living room for an hour or so and chatted. 19 p.m. I was seated on the deck with my laptop, and three wonderful little furry companions. A very nice way to end the evening.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

When I was younger, I was a lot more attentive to my attire. I actually cared about current styles and often adopted them. As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to care less about the particulars of dressing stylish. My general rule of phone seems to be: do the compliments work well together and complement one another? And, there needs to be one plain article of clothing, IE. shirt or bottoms, and one with a pattern. Finally, it must be comfortable. Since I work long hours from home it is imperative that I simply remain comfortable throughout the day.

I am always blown away by some of my female friends who are exceptionally attentive to their clothing and fashion. I find it impressive however, a bit tedious. My mind sometimes cannot fathom their line of thinking. Fortunately, many of these female friends are always ready to assist me with my fashion trials.

These past 15 or 20 years, finding the right style that suits me is often quite stressful. It is just not my area of expertise. It ranks up there with cooking.

The past several days I have been obsessed with selecting my wardrobe for a wedding this Saturday. Typically, I throw on a white dress shirt, slacks and a sports coat. Toss in the coordinating tie and some breath mints and I am good to go. For some reason, I am wanting to place a little bit more attention and emphasis on my attire. But, it is worth it. This is the wedding of a beloved former student, and I am taking a little bit more pride in my appearance for this occasion. I’ve probably worn out my welcome with Emily Webb, the mother of two of my students, but she does seem to be the resource to whom all others bow. I covered her with emails involving greater detail about what works well together. My head has been spinning through this process, but I am almost done.

I am grateful, and applaud all the women, and those men, who understand fashion I know how to dress me appropriately.

And a big thank you to Emily Webb.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”

I have been blessed with so many wonderful friends, but there will always be one that will be at the heart of my heart. Every couple months, or so, we join one another for breakfast at First Watch in Kettering. This has been our routine for a number of years. There is not one breakfast that has not been accompanied by laughter, dreaming, solving the world’s problems, a few tears, a lot of tears, more laughter, harassing servers, and sometimes even annoying those around us.

I first met Bill Hetzer, and his beautiful wife, Kay, when I joined the staff at Normandy United Methodist Church as music director back in 1996. For some reason, but mostly perhaps God willed it to be this way, Bill, Kay, and their sons, Brian and Andy, and I clicked from the very start. Andy, in particular, was very much like his dad and loved sharing devilish pranks and all around goofy behavior. This made us the perfect pair.

Our mutual journey of respect, fun, laughter, deep thoughts, and even more laughter, continued merrily along until Mother’s Day, 1997. Andy’s short journey of 16 years was cut short after an automobile accident. For a number of years after, Bill and I sat in many restaurants through the lunch hour, crying, laughing, crying, laughing…

In July 1998, as we were eating lunch at the golf course in Centerville, I casually mentioned to Bill that I was considering adopting children. Bill laid down his fork, looked at me, and said: “you know, Kay and I were just talking about adopting last night. Neither one of us are finished being parents yet.”

Thus a new shared journey had begun.

The following year, Joey joined the Hetzer family. The following year Chris arrived, followed in succession by my next three. Joey and Chris studied piano lessons with me, Kay worked with my sons on reading, and our families enjoyed mutual fun together at sporting events, music events, or just family times together.

Our sons, like so many other adopted children who swim through the cesspool of adoption issues, emotional entrapments from years with birth families and the system of foster care, struggled. Despite the security, love, and success in their newly adopted homes, the boys fought long and hard against the haunting memories of their earlier life that seemed to chip away at, crack, and even destroy the cement in their foundations.

Another tragic blow merged our lives even more when, two weeks before his 18th birthday, Chris ended his life. The evening before, Chris and I chatted for quite some time, discussing all the positives in his life, and the new vision and goals he had planned for himself.

I don’t think we have ever truly recovered fully from Andy’s death, and Chris’s tragic choice seemed to bury us.

But not completely.

Life moved on with even more breakfasts that seemed to offer temporary relief. Two dads sitting in a booth at their favorite Kettering eatery, laughing, crying, laughing, crying… Not only did we sit there mourning the loss of Andy, and trying to figure out the reasons behind Chris’s choices, Bill was always there to help me sort through the unfortunate choices my sons made that often shredded our family’s fabric.

This morning was just another day in paradise: two dads trying to figure out life. Two dads trying to understand what makes their adopted sons tick. Since we will never truly know the horrors and abuse they endured with their birth families, we will never truly understand, nor comprehend the choices they have made as very young adults.

And maybe we don’t need to know.

This morning Bill and I concluded all that truly matters is: we did our very best as parents. We were up against, often times, insurmountable odds. The bedrock serving as the foundation for our sons was not the bedrock we had laid. Bill, Kay, and I tried our best to repair, heal, build new foundations, love, provide opportunities and securer structure, and simply do our very best. And in all honesty, we succeeded on our end. Our struggling sons hit their plateaus, and often made premature choices in their own life journeys. My sons can re-chart their courses. Chris cannot. While my sons have left me to pick up the scattered pieces of their emotional debris left behind, Chris forever buried us in his debris.

However, Bill and I charged into this morning’s discussion opting for a new perspective.

We adopted a new vision.

We adopted a new journey.

We adopted a new life.

Life is all about choices.

And as a sidenote: Joey, now 21 years old, made the choice to join the United States Army, like his dad, and is now stationed in Germany.

We desperately tried to teach our sons how to make the best choices given our prescribed limits as adoptive parents and taking into hopeful consideration their own limited backgrounds. One day we believe our sons will fully comprehend how to make the very best choices for themselves, and for their families. And if not, Bill Kay and I are confident in the fact that we did our very best.

There will always be those individuals who are insatiably critical, even cruel, when plotting their self righteous campaigns attacking decisions adoptive parents are often forced to make. While the critics stand on the sidelines plotting, adoptive parents struggle tirelessly on the front lines. If the critics truly wanted to help these hurt children, perhaps they should consider adopting from the countless numbers of foster children available. Rather than criticize, tear down, and attempt to destroy those on front lines, they could find more useful measures to help the progress of children finding families. But this is what separates those willing to try from the simple cowards.

Life is good. And the three of us – Bill, Kay and Darin – are determined to march forward, plowing on through life while laughing, crying, rejoicing, being grateful, teaching, being of service to others, living, and above all, loving.

This is the choice we’ve made. And what is more, we do not have regrets.

From DLJH’s iPhone
“Make it a great day!”