The light was red at my turn from Far Hills Avenue onto Shroyer Road where my house stood about a mile away. I phoned my teenaged son.

Joshua:  Yes?

Dad:  Can you please be on the porch in about two minutes?

Joshua: Why?

Dad:  I need you to help me carry things in from the van.

Joshua:  I can’t.

Dad:  What do you mean you can’t?  I need your help.

Joshua:  I can’t.

Dad:  Josh, please come to the porch and be ready to help me carry things inside.

Joshua:  It’s going to be hard as hell.

Dad:  Why?  Are you in the bathroom?

Joshua:  No. You left me at the store.

Dad:  I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes. Please be outside by the front. Absolutely no smart ass comments.