The light was red at my turn from Far Hills Avenue onto Shroyer Road where my house stood about a mile away. I phoned my teenaged son.
Joshua: Yes?
Dad: Can you please be on the porch in about two minutes?
Joshua: Why?
Dad: I need you to help me carry things in from the van.
Joshua: I can’t.
Dad: What do you mean you can’t? I need your help.
Joshua: I can’t.
Dad: Josh, please come to the porch and be ready to help me carry things inside.
Joshua: It’s going to be hard as hell.
Dad: Why? Are you in the bathroom?
Joshua: No. You left me at the store.
Dad: I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes. Please be outside by the front. Absolutely no smart ass comments.