MY DAY: My new normal in one month…

New Normal definition: What replaces the expected, usual, typical state after an event occurs. The new normal encourages one to deal with current situations rather than …

It’s now been one month since Mother’s funeral and this new normal is slugging along.

The grief is one thing.

I get it.

The new normal, however, is a category completely separate and oft times puzzling and frustrating. Grief often has familiar patterns; a new normal has no patterns and some days feels as though I’m walking blindfolded on a tightrope carrying two 5-gallon buckets filled with wet peat rocks, and holding a bowling ball beneath my chin.

As Mother entered her final journey, I wrote about my experience watching a parent transition. I wrote these entries to keep our family and friends informed, and to address my participation in her journey.

in mid July, I began receiving messages from individuals who expressed their appreciation for me being able to express my emotions and thoughts as it assisted them in either their future journeys with their own parents, or shed some light on what they experienced. As of this week, the count is now over one hundred messages.

I was fortunate to spend 55 years with Mother. The end of September, I will begin my 56th journey around the sun. This new normal will commence with the procession of important dates and holidays that we shared.

I still find myself searching for Mother’s “likes” and comments on my posts. There are things my dogs will do and I think, “Oh, I need to tell Mother what Erma did with…” This is quite normal for those who have lost loved ones.

Now, it’s my new normal.

So be it.

This is all a part of life’s process. I will gradually embrace it, pieces at a time. I will figure out how to proceed with life, knowing that Mother is still near. I’ve always believed our loved ones never truly leave us.

I am tremendously grateful for my students who keep me laughing, keep me focused, and keep me seeing the pieces of this new chapter falling into place. Bless you!

I was raised to “make it a great day.” And so I shall.

Onward.

About Wright Flyer Guy

Darin is a single adoptive father, a teacher, playwright, and musical theatre director from Kettering, Ohio.
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