The first major sign defining Mother’s passing is not seeing her daily Facebook “likes” for my posts, a commentary on a post, and always followed by “I love you” or “Love you.”
It’s almost surreal realizing she’s no longer here. I’ve found myself, these past several days, thinking, “I should tell Mother this…” or “Mother would love this story about… [one of the dogs or students she was always asking about].
The page was turned and now I seem to be staring at a blank page. I know the blankness is temporary and it’s only requiring me to lift my pen, but the weight of the pen, for now, is extraordinarily heavy.
I returned from Indiana, late Friday evening, and spent the large part of Saturday in bed, only rising to tend to the dogs, eat or use the bathroom. Sunday, I taught six lessons and a few on Monday. It was a haze.
The alone-time, since greeting so many on Friday, is rewarding. Even speaking with a waitress was exhausting, yesterday.
Fortunately, I had already scheduled Tuesday through Saturday to not teach. While the timing of this break was perfect, I’ve not achieved any sort of accomplishments.
The one good thing is that I’ve finally achieved “deck time.” It’s been either too hot or raining. My dog sitters have used it far more times than I have.
The sun is setting on this Wednesday. It’s 8:04 PM and I’m exhausted from exhaustion.
This, too, shall pass.
