The Haasienda on Shroyer…

The aching is never ending…

My birth father, Danny Lee Jolliff, died on this date in 1984.

Danny L. Jolliff, 22 Mar 1942-17 Dec 1984.

Saturday, I had a double shift for THE NUTCRACKER.

Schuster is always such a beautiful, brilliant gem at night.

Chief has shown a remarkable improvement. I am always relieved to hear his “yap” in the quintet’s chorus when I return, and I am enthralled to see him at the gate to greet me.

I was home from Schuster Center by 10:15 PM having left the house at 10:45 AM. I had two shifts of THE NUTCRACKER.

In the middle of the night I got up to use the bathroom and returned to Colonel Deeds under my covers and Harrigan and Haaskins awaiting my return.

While there’s been marked improvement in his behavior, Chief is still not perky. He had not been drinking water, so I thawed one of the sandwich bags of the Kroger rotisserie chicken I had pulled apart and gave him half, along with his kibble, and filled the bowl with water. I repeated it for his afternoon meal and this did the trick.

Chief did go out to potty around 11 AM but still refused to eat or drink water.

I returned at 2 PM from lunch and Chief was at the gate to greet me with Harrigan and Erma. He ate his lunch and has been out several times.

The others have been attentive and sweet to Chief, especially Harrigan, who will sit by him, Haaskins, who gives him kisses.

Chief suddenly began an immediate decline on Wednesday night after returning inside from the 11:30 PM potty break. He was fine prior to going out and came inside with reluctance and some incoherence. This morning, he’s not moved and barely lifts his head. Chief is not showing any signs of pain or discomfort, just incredible listlessness.

I’m still at Victoria Theatre while the guest artists, The Peterson Family Band, wraps up their post-show meet and greet. The legendary Victoria is subtly and tastefully decorated.

I’m ready to go home and sleep.

Today is December 6th, one month since my world lost its light. Wednesday marked four weeks but today marks the month.

I am amazed at the human spirit and how it can continue moving forward during these hideous moments. I can operate like everything is normal, or fine when teaching or greeting guests at Dayton Live events but inside there’s a continuous pain. Every Wednesday I wake up with an aching pit in my stomach. It eventually subsides but it’s always there.

Yesterday, despite the cold, I prepped my veggie bin for a long weekend of Dayton Live events. I always buy my produce at Kroger because the items are fuller and worth the price, however, yesterday, my celery stalks were small and mud-caked. I could not find the pre-cut radishes in a bag and had to buy the full batch with an entire bush sticking out everywhere. It took me forever to clean the celery and to cut the shrubs off the radishes.

The day is about 20 degrees warmer than yesterday and the sun is blasting its light at full force.

It could be four-thousand weeks… the aching heart finds little comfort.

Life moves on. Somehow.

I feel as though I’m merely walking through life without fully participating in it. Automatically doing typical day-to-day things without processing what’s being accomplished.

The dogs are a blessing and a curse. They sense my world is not right and yet they love on me even more. Yet, they also need me which feels like a loving burden at times.

I slept an additional three hours this morning before rising to shower and dress. I hopped on the 11:05 AM No. 28 bus to The Greene and dined at El Toro. I fully intended to get some shopping done on the westward return but once on the bus, I began feeling very sluggish. Instead, I returned home where I napped some more before rising to teach.

The first day of December 2025 is upon us and we shall soon bid farewell to 2024 while welcoming 2025.

Grief is exhausting and very trying; I’m not certain if I am excited for 2024 to be behind me or dreading the start of a new year without my dear boy a part of my world.

The holiday season is here and Schuster Center is looking quite festive and does brighten my dimmed spirit.

I pre-purchased my 7 PM ticket for WICKED at The Greene’s Cinemax IMax auditorium.

I arrived early as I had read where folks claimed their seats had been double booked. My aisle seat was fine but the atmosphere was miserable.

A large Hispanic crew of about 20+ individuals ssurrounded me to the right and behind. Next to me was a chubby little fellow of around 8 years old who could not sit still throughout the movie and whined about wanting popcorn. He kicked the seat in front of him until the couple recruited a manager.

Then, behind me, one of the several babies hauled into the theatre, played with straws and plastic lids! My seat was often kicked, forcing me to finally turn around and demand it immediately stop. Their loud chatter continued throughout the movie.

Despite the circus surrounding me, I realized I was often smiling throughout the movie. My only criticism was the lack of ending consonants which annoyed the hell out of me.

I want to see it again and hopefully not sharing the moment with lousy, rude humans.

I hopped on the bus before 10:15 AM to head to a dining haunt I’ve not been to in several months. It’s fine to sit and work while grazing and relaxing.

The buffet was already bustling at 10:55 AM and I selected a table on the end of an aisle and sat facing the buffet tables. I’ve sat at this table before and knew to sit facing the traffic as folks using the chairs and that side of the table to steady themselves. It was slightly annoying to have folks invading my space, placing their hands on on my coat which was draped over one of the chairs.

While I cherished the aloneness, I was appalled by the number of children allowed to dart about the terribly crowded facility. And there was the doddering old grandpa who moved against the line of the buffet and growling at those “in his way.” He got to me and I refused to budge from my place near the green beans. “Are you going to let me pass?” I glared right back at him and quietly said, “if you haven’t noticed, you’re going the wrong way in this line.” He jerked his head back and said, “you’re going the wrong way.” I stood in place until he moved around me.

The amount of wasted food was incredible. One lady at a near by table complained about the prices but had several plates around their table that were still half filled and obviously set aside to not be eaten.

The staff and management could not have been kinder, nor worked harder. Bravo.

A BEAUTIFUL NOISE arrived at Schuster Center, Tuesday before Thanksgiving. I worked the Friday matinee and evening shows, and will work again, Saturday evening.

I love Neil Diamond’s music but the juke box musicals grow old on me. The production, itself, is good but the foundation of the product is just enough of mediocrity to warrant a graveside service.

2:55 AM, (7:55 AM, London, England) Wednesday, November 6, 2024…

Not my flesh, nor blood, but so much of my heart…

We have sunshine. For several consecutive days we have endured rain and grey skies throughout the Miami Valley. Today, we celebrate the return of brightness across the region.

Christmas has arrived at Schuster Center.

Cold, drizzly, grey.

I accomplished a lot around the house on Monday before teaching began. I took care of leaves, laundry, cleaning the kitchen, scrubbing the bathtub, washing my study’s curtains, and painted the corner fence in the front yard, as well as the front porch’s awning posts.

Yesterday was grey, and Tuesday is damp and grey.

I lunched at El Toro and noticed the lightbulbs on the patio. They seemed to echo my internal dim lighting while grey skies hover.

Chief, and his sister/littermate, Navi (In Memory: 2010-2013) are now fourteen years old.

The age lineup at The Haasienda: Erma, 15; Chief, 14: Harrigan, 11; Colonel Deeds, 2; Haaskins, 1.

Chief is much slower on the move, unless he spies a squirrel or is called for a meal, and has great difficulty with his back hips. But the loving and devoted old boy has not lost his tremendous spirit.

CHIEF & NAVI

NAVI (2010-2013)

CHIEF

CHIEF & FLYER

When Chief and Navi arrived on February 20, 2011, Flyer, 10, was already blind. As a puppy, Chief immediately assumed guardianship and was devoted to Flyer for three years. In this photograph, Chief is beside Flyer in her last days, July 2013.

CHIEF & ERMA

Erma arrived in August 2018 at age 9. I have over 300 photographs of these inseparable seniors.

CHIEF & COLONEL DEEDS

The minute three month old Colonel Deeds arrived on February 3, 2023, he was instantly devoted to Chief. They sniffed and The Colonel promptly set down next to his new mentor and brother. Colonel Deeds is the only one to get Chief to play: Colonel Deeds will bark, Chief will slowly rise and go to Colonel Deeds who crawls under the bed where Chief can’t reach him. Chief will return to stretch out beside me in my study until Colonel Deeds heralds the next chase.

CHIEF & HAASKINS

Haaskins was born September 8, 2023 and Chief had another fan.

Through the years, Chief has been a devoted guardian to Navi, Flyer, Harrigan, Bailey, Erma, Colonel Deeds, and Haaskins, as well as our feline babies, Logan, Neko, Clyde, and Flanagan.

Happy 14th birthday, Chief! You are the very best!

This sums up so much…